thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I want to stick my p in your. b.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
