Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
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