? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
