You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
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