She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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