Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
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