if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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