if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
