Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
