I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
I'm eating all of the evidence.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Randomize
