JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
