its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
