R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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