so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
We have started to decorate penises.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Randomize
