Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
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