I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize
