She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
And then he peed in my hair
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