I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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