she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
