for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Randomize
