Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
