You really coming over, don't trick.
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
