I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
