i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
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