Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
