guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
