What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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