so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Randomize
