What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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