You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Randomize
