singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
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