i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
