i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Randomize
