You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
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