Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize
