fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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