Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
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