Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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