Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
