I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
