i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
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