he referred to my room as the tit cave...
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Randomize
