It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
