whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Randomize
