All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize