I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
They are going to name an STD after you.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
