i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
