dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
birth control should be required to get into college
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
