it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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