my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize