she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Randomize
