I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Randomize
