in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
