so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Randomize
