It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
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