I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
