I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Randomize