i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Randomize
