Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
Randomize
