last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Randomize
