We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize
