Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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