i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
