why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Randomize
