Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Randomize
