I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Randomize
