so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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