How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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