im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
