I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
